Social Media Tips & Tricks?
I recently had a really great conversation with another Domme in which she asked about any advice I might have for growing your audience and platform from a social media sense, specifically with the app formerly known as Twitter. To be honest, I don’t know that I can offer a ton of advice. The climate has changed quite a bit, and I’ve been chronically shadowbanned for well over a year which has heavily impacted my growth. However, I am happy to share what I do know and what has worked for me in the past. I just want to add though, everyone is different and there is no one path to success online. So, take it for what it’s worth, use what makes sense for you and don’t be afraid to try different things until something sticks. Alright, here we go…
I know have already taken up one if not two whole blog posts about the importance of being yourself, so I am going to try not to go on a tangent about that here. Just know, that is still the key ingredient, and if you need a refresher, go back to read Seeking Success and What Kind of Domme Are You? Also please note, I am a Findomme. My recommendations are based on my experience, and intended for similar people, therefore it may not be applicable to you, your style, or your area of interest within the kink community.
Brand Consistency
Your brand is your identity. It’s how others view you as a Domme, and something that I personally feel makes a long-term impact, especially in regard to subs, is being consistent with your brand. A sub should be able to scroll your profile and have a clear understanding of who you are, what your personality is like but also what you offer as a dominant, and what you expect from a submissive.
Most subs will “lurk” on the page of a Domme they are interested in. Genuine subs do not want to waste your time or their own money. They are seeking to invest in a Domme that shares the same interests in the space and has a compatible personality. That should be something that can be easily understood based on your profile. For example, if your bio specifically says you are a soft, nurturing Mommy Domme that specializes in praise kink but none of your posts contain any of those things, but rather the exact opposite, it may make a sub pause and wonder if that’s really who you are. Of course, it’s entirely possible for a Domme to have a wide range of interests, and I’m certainly not suggesting that anyone put themselves in a box and not branch out. However, I do think it’s important to make sure you frequently scroll your own page from a subs perspective and see if the Domme you want people to see you as is consistently represented in the content you’re sharing.
Speaking of scrolling your own page - do that. Often. I frequently scroll my own page to keep it cleaned up. I look for anything I deem as unnecessary clutter on my page and remove it. This could be a post that I don’t feel got enough engagement (if I like the caption, I’ll save the text and repost it later), or one that was worded poorly, something that is no longer relevant (such as reimbursement posts that wasn’t reimbursed or maybe got reimbursed but it’s not obvious on the post itself). I would also recommend not posting things that requires engagement (such as RT this if you wish you could be here, or questions that require people to respond in the comments) unless you are confident that you’ll get the responses you want in a timely manner. Otherwise, it can work against you because it highlights the lack of responses which may lead subs to thinking you’re not desirable, so if you do that and do not receive a lot of engagement within an hour, I personally would delete it.
Something else to be mindful of when you are scrolling your own page is the media tab. Gifs from comments and screenshots will show up on the media tab, which may end up pushing down your actual media that you want to be seen. You put a lot of work and effort into the photo sets you make and the content you create, so make sure you’re not pushing it down the feed where it won’t be seen. Also, if your media tab is a bunch of receipts and reimbursement opportunities but no sends, you may want to clean it up a little.
To Repost or Not to Repost
Another area to be mindful of when you are scrolling your own page is, how long did it take you to scroll your main page before you actually saw your own post? I am all for supporting other Dommes and creators, but I do recommend that you consider perspectives when you are frequently reposting others, especially via groups. If it takes someone 15 minutes to scroll to the bottom of your retweets to find your content because there were 60 reposts of 15 other Dommes, it makes it difficult for people to find you or know you. Ideally there would be feature that filters that out on your own page, but no luck, that’s only a timeline option for now.
Also, if you are consistently reposting content that isn’t yours in large quantities over a short amount of time so it frequently clogs the timeline, you may be more susceptible to being muted by followers. Again, I’m not saying you shouldn’t support others, but be conscious of how you’re being supportive. If you’re in a lot of groups, catch up in intervals not all of them at once. Catch up before you start posting things, so your fresh posts aren’t immediately pushed down. Ultimately, make sure you’re taking care of yourself. If you find you spend more time promoting others than you spend promoting yourself, you may be more likely to burn out if you don’t receive the success you’re hoping to achieve.
Creating a Schedule
This one will certainly vary from person to person and personal preference, but you should look into your analytics on your account, or your general activity (including DM requests) to see if you can find a pattern for times that are most active for you. Your style and your own personal schedule will influence this, but once you have it sorted out you can use it to your advantage. I personally made sure I posted at minimum 3 different times a day. Spreading out your activity isn’t feasible for everyone, but I did it this way to hit multiple time zones that worked best for my schedule. I posted at least once every morning, noon, and night, and I made sure at least one post a day would have content, whether it was a photo or video, and that content would be posted at the most active time for my engagement. When you do this, consider the time zones that work best for you (for example active hours in the UK when I knew subs were up late doom scrolling was a great time for me during the day because of my work schedule, but posting when the West Coast was doom scrolling does me know good because I’m going to bed then and I would miss DM requests.)
Some people take a different approach to this and post a lot in a short about of time, flooding the feed with activity in a small burst while they are active. This works best for people who have a busier personal schedule and are not online consistently. You may need to try different approaches here to find what has the most impact for you and your style. My biggest bit of advice when you’re considering this is pay attention to time waster engagement too and don’t let that inflate your activity in the wrong place. So, maybe you get more DM requests and comments at 7pm, but if most are time wasters then don’t let that distract you, because you may get less superficial engagement but more senders at 10pm, and so that would be the better time to be active.
Personal vs Professional
This one I go back and forth on a bit, and may seem contradictory, but stay with me. While I do preach about being consistent and being yourself, I do think far too often Dommes treat their profile like a personal profile and not like a professional profile. This doesn’t mean you can’t be yourself and post about your personal life, the things you enjoy, or real moments, but it does mean you should post with intention and with consideration.
Choosing what you do post is just as important as choosing what not to post. We have all seen the posts where Dommes will announce their failures for the world to see. Frequently they may post that they haven’t had a send in X number of days, that no one follows through on sessions, that subs keep deactivating on them, etc, etc. Sometimes they’re posted with a bit of a bratty tone to mask the frustration and attempt to maintain control of the way the post will be read (it doesn’t mask it well, just so you know). Other times it’s very obviously an attempt at generating pity in the hopes a sub will send (this one gives up control and comes across in a very nondominant way). Posts such as these are not doing you any favors, I promise. Most subs will ignore these posts, and most of the time, the ones that do respond are targeting the Domme because they seem vulnerable and desperate and therefore can be easily taken advantage of. Subs that target these posts just want to get as much as that can for the lowest price possible because they know that no one else is sending. This is where the concept of “Fake it til you make it” comes into play. Mind you this does not mean you should lie about sends or subs, or really anything else, but I do suggest resisting the desire to announce your unsuccessful days. It’s simple, at the end of the day, the only way anyone knows you failed is if you tell everyone you failed.
In the spirit of that, I recommend being mindful of posting about mental health breaks. I say that with a bit of an asterisk attached, because I am definitely an advocate for mental health and they are healthy and essential, and you should absolutely prioritize your mental health. However, if you are constantly posting that you are taking a mental health break you may be unintentionally broadcasting that you are not doing well in this space or community and may be prone to quitting, disappearing, or being unavailable, which may turn long term subs away or may make you suseptible to people that want to take advantage. It’s worth noting, especially if any subs are reading this, that mental health breaks are not negative for anyone. I take frequent breaks online just because I would rather invest more time with my actual subs than spend it in a place that is known for not always being healthy. Plus, we deserve to relax and step away from online work. So, take mental health breaks, but if it’s only going to be a couple of days or a weekend, don’t worry about announcing it in a public post.
Beyond that, there are also Dommes that get way too personal on the timeline. The biggest one for me is sharing vanilla photos and posts that are better suited for their family on Facebook not strangers potential subs. This is especially true with family photos, please do not share those in this space. Your intentions may be genuine and perhaps you would like to shed light on the person behind the Domme, but children especially (but also adults that have not consented to being in this environment) have absolutely no business in this space. There is no reason for it, and for the record, an emoji over their face is a band-aid over a bullet wound. It isn’t enough. It doesn’t help. Please just leave them out of this place, for their safety.
Final Thoughts
I don’t think anything I posted here is exactly revolutionary information, but I do hope it helped someone or provided some perspectives that may been forgotten or overlooked. Just don’t forget that what works for one person may not work for everyone, and there’s never any guarantees. As always, it’s about being consistent and being yourself. It’s not always easy, and there’s a lot of effort involved. I started my account in February of 2021, and from February to May I had earned 150 followers, and then I switched my effort and reached 5,000 followers by September of the same year. All of that being said, I was hit with the dreaded shadow ban that October, and I have been consistently gained and losing followers ever since. I think I’ve hit 6,000 followers more times than I can count at this point. So. I am hardly an expert, but if this helps gives you a general direction or some new approaches to try, then I hope you see success!