Becoming A Villain
The reality is: there will always be someone that hates you. Especially in this community. This place is built on greed and insecurities, so of course there’s bound to be points of contention. You can do everything right, and they'll still do all they can to make you some villain, often times because facing themselves and their failures is far more difficult.
I think the worst part is, sometimes I wish they were right. If I could become this cold, manipulative, abusive thing they want me to be so badly… well, I can’t say I’d be happier, but I certainly would be far more numb to the noise of life in the Twitterverse, and honestly, I’d probably make significantly more money, because there’s few things this community idolizes more than greed and toxicity. I mean, how many big named accounts (Domme or sub) do you know that isn’t known for being abrasive, toxic, or cruel? There’s likely much more financial benefit to me playing into their hand than playing fair. Oh, if I could turn off my personality and play this dark persona they’ve painted for me then I could be quite the force to be reckoned with. Maybe in moments of reactive anger I feel that desire gnawing at me from the inside, the coldness creeping in and reminding me I could hurt them back if only I gave in to those urges. Sometimes, I really do want to be the villain.
Alas, that urge dies quickly when I have more than a moment to realize this was never really about me, but rather what I represent to them. Their own narcissism and bitter jealousy has pushed them to the point of obsession. I had become the manifestation of everything they wanted, but could not have. In their mind, every dynamic I had could have been a connection if I wasn’t there first, any money I made was somehow taken from their pockets, and any friendship, connection, or relationship I formed was somehow in spite of them. In their eyes, I am the immovable object preventing them from reaching the things they want. And as such, they’ve become so focused on my downfall they don’t seem to notice they have become everything they accused me of being.
So no, this isn’t about me. It’s not about some moral obligation to expose me for some dark deeds I supposedly committed in someone else’s made up world, it’s not about who they think I am, or how they feel betrayed because I didn’t roll over and give them what was already mine to begin with. It’s simply the delusions of a bitter soul with no genuine happiness to live for, so they’ve nothing better to do than to try to spread their own misery. A gilded individual desperately hoping no one notices that as golden as they hope to appear, there’s nothing of value at their core.